Today is officially the first day of spring and what a beauty it is. I can hardly stay inside.

At this moment, I am sitting above the river, behind the house. The sun is warming me, the river flowing in and out of snow patches, and the blue sky surrounds me.

I am feeling rather lonely, unable to sort out what’s boggled up in my head. What’s next?  Why? What are the reasons for my constant search? Is it because I’ve not found happiness? No. I’m generally very happy wherever I am. Why the search? I’m not content in one place. I must keep going, advancing, learning, doing. Stagnation scares me.

Only one life and a short one at that. A lot to do, places to go. I’d love to share my desires with someone, but so far any relationship that I might have let myself settle into would hold me down.

I’m not sure why I’m such a deviate from the “American Girl,” but the lifestyle doesn’t fit.

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